What kids want

I heard a story recently about a pastor who was working with youth in a detention center. He asked them what they would have like from their parents, what would have helped prevent them from ending up there.
1. Keep your cool.
2. Don’t use alcohol or drugs.
3. Bug us a little – be strict show us who is boss, don’t cave in.
4. Don’t try to act like your kids.
5. Light a candle – show us the way.
6. Scare us – when we are doing wrong get tough.
7. Punish us but do it with love.
8. Call our bluff – mean what you say, don’t compromise.
9. Be honest – tell us the truth no matter what.
10. Praise us when we deserve it.

All of this basically calls us as parents to follow God's teaching on how to live our lives for Him each day.

Ephesians 6:4

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Even though it is translated as fathers, it does apply to both parents. We exasperate our children when we show an ongoing pattern of treatment that leads to anger.
Some of the ways we do this are:
1. Showing favoritism – each child is unique and we need to treat them as such
2. Neglect them – no time to listen, too busy to be there
3. Never complimenting – need encouragement as much and more than correction

If we exasperate our children we can next move on to training them or instruction them in the ways of God.

The training speaks to discipline even by punishment when needed. They need to know there are lines that when crossed have consequences.

Instruction is confronting them with the truth of God's word in light of their own hearts. It is bringing it before their mind to think about and show them that there is a right and a wrong in this world.

All of this assumes that you have a good relationship with God. If you don't then get right with Him now. Your kids are depending on you to walk with God so that they will know how to walk by imitating you.

Parenting Success

As I did my research to prepare for Sunday's message on success in parenting I was struck by how important time with our children is key to helping them develop a thirst for God in their lives. Nothing else seemed to have as big an impact. In Deut. 6 it talks about when we are going about our daily lives to be talking to our children about God. It doesn't say make sure you have family devotions every day. Not that having devotions is a bad idea. In fact it is a great one. But we need to learn to use the situations we and our children face every day to point to God. A conflict at school or home is a great time to talk about how God would want us to handle it and to pray that God would help us do the right thing. If we don't spend any time with our kids how would we know where they need help. It is never too late to show an interest in the lives of our children, just make sure you are sincere. Take time to listen and hear the heart behind your child's words.